The Unexpected Realizations I’ve had about IVF as a Fertility Acupuncturist
I admit when I first started working at an integrative wellness center that specializes in fertility and reproductive health, I had a limited understanding of IVF, or in vitro fertilization. I’ve learned so much throughout the years helping those struggling with fertility using acupuncture and Traditional Chinese Medicine. After working with hundreds of people going through the IVF process, I’ve had many realizations which has made me think differently about conception, life, health, and fertility.
All conceptions are natural. We have this prejudice around assisted reproductive technology like IVF that it is unnatural. But over time I’ve learned to see it differently. Yes the eggs and sperm are fertilized outside of the body in a laboratory, but after that it’s up to nature. You can’t force an egg and sperm to fertilize and grow into an embryo. Even with sperm injected directly into an egg, there is no guarantee that it will fertilize or eventually become a baby. Science has a limit where we then have to let nature take its course. This is why I believe we should stop thinking about IVF as an unnatural way to get pregnant when the power of nature is still needed for life to be created. Different yes, but unnatural, no.
Infertility is a valid medical condition. It is classified as a disease by the World Health Organization and affects an estimated 186 million people worldwide. Despite its prevalence, it is still very taboo and not talked about often enough. The rise of social media, online support groups, and celebrities opening up about their experiences have helped tremendously, but there is still more work that needs to be done. My patients often feel very alone and branded with the scarlet “infertility” diagnosis. It breaks my heart that so many people are still ashamed, embarrassed, or believe they are broken with their fertility struggles. We still have a lot to de-stigmatize.
IVF is nobody’s first choice. No one really wants to or dreams of doing IVF. It’s often a reluctant decision after many years of trying naturally. Some are even devastated by the prospect of having to use it. This isn’t to discount the grieving process of not being able to create your family the way you envisioned. But I try to see it as a great tool to get what you ultimately want - a baby. There are medications and treatments for many medical conditions such as diabetes or IBS, and infertility is no different. It might not be your dream way of conception, but it can help you fulfill your dream of becoming a parent, which is ultimately the most important goal.
Just because you decide to do IVF doesn’t mean you can’t conceive naturally. I’ve had patients who decide to do IVF for the ability to genetically test embryos. Some freeze their eggs. Some have male factor infertility or need to use donor sperm. Some are tired of waiting every month for a positive pregnancy test. I’ve even had patients where intercourse is physically painful or not an option and choose to do IVF. Deciding to do IVF does not mean you have to accept a diagnosis of “infertility”. Again, it is a wonderful tool when, or if, you are ready for it.
It doesn’t always work. This is the devastating part. Undergoing IVF does not ever guarantee you a baby. It can often take more than one round, too. It’s important to understand your chances But it’s also important to know that miracles can, and do, happen.
You don’t have to stay hopeful or positive for it to work. You can absolutely go through the daily motions, do the tests, take the medications, and go through the procedures, and not think it’s going to work. Positivity isn’t a prerequisite for IVF. I’ve seen many patients who feel guilty or ashamed for not staying hopeful or repeating fertility mantras in their head. I do believe that mindfulness and manifestation practices can help, but it is not a requirement for IVF to be successful. I’ve had my patients who were so sure it wasn’t going to work, do it anyway, and end up with happy, healthy babies.
You can never predict what’s going to happen. I’ve had young, healthy patients where I’m so sure their IVF cycle is going to go wonderfully - and then it doesn’t. And I’ve also had patients in their 40’s with poor ovarian reserve have surprisingly awesome IVF results. You may be able to gather an idea of how your IVF may go based on hormone levels or ovarian reserve markers, but you never know for sure. It’s such a humbling process where you learn so much about patience, inner strength, letting go, and the unpredictability of life.
I have so much respect and admiration for the people that undergo IVF. It is a wild, emotional rollercoaster ride with hefty physical and financial burdens. But when it works, the joy is indescribable. I am so grateful for my work supporting my amazing patients and the science that has helped create 8 million babies and counting.
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